Quitting My Career

I made the decision to leave the career I worked my life towards. After two years in education, I walked away with too many uncertainties to count and not a clue what comes next. 

When I “grew up,” I always wanted to be a teacher. In fact, this had been my aspiration since kindergarten, which is physically documented in a memory book from my younger school years.

I went on to work with kids in every single job I ever had.

I adore spending time with kids, and this passion followed me into my collegiate years. As a student, I focused my studies primarily on education in under-privileged communities, choosing to learn about trauma-informed practices, culturally relevant pedagogies and critical race theory.

After graduating college in April of 2020 (this one goes out to all the Covid graduates), I landed a job in a low-income, urban district - exactly the demographic I wanted to work with. My first year of teaching, to put it lightly, was a hot mess. I figured being a first-year teacher in the thick of a pandemic wasn’t the best example of how teaching should be, so I gave it another go.

My second year, unfortunately, was not much better. In fact, I probably cried over my job more in my second year of teaching than the first. Now, I’m not going to air out all the details about why I was miserable, but I will say this: my passion for children and drive to make a difference just wasn’t enough anymore to make teaching worth it.

When sharing with my colleagues, friends, and family, some called my bluff, because they knew how passionate I once was about teaching. I had every kind of opinion whispered in my ear - some loved ones were blunt and encouraged me to run for the hills, while others were disappointed I was even considering leaving. Every time I caught up with a friend or family member, I could count on being asked where my decision was falling.

It’s exhausting to explain yourself to others.

I’ve been told too many times “teaching is not for everyone” and “it takes a special type of person.” This bothers me to this day, because I believed for so many years that I was that person, and I still think I could have been, if the circumstances had been different.

Every minute of each day, I weighed the pros and cons and made excuses for why I should stay. The main reason being: these kids deserve loving teachers in their lives. I’d convince myself that the one good day out of every 30 bad days made it all worth it. My mind was in warped knots, being tugged on all ends by my needs, values, desires and dreams.

At the end of the day, I followed my gut, head, and heart. My gut’s usually right, and intuition told me it was time to go. My head is logical, considering details and thinking big picture: teaching wasn’t sustainable, and burning out isn’t worth it. 

And my heart…was broken, but also proud of myself for being courageous.

I don’t regret it. As soon as my mind was made up, a weight was lifted. Husband even recalls the day I resigned, and how much lighter I was that evening and then on. 

My life changed, and I did it for myself. I’ve been able to grow and evolve so much since, and I’m incredibly proud of the brave woman I was then, and how it’s led me to who I’ve become. Stepping away from the dream that let me down and choosing to live a happier life is forever one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.